Greg and Scott Do Star Wars
SCOTT DOES THE INTRO:
Oh, Star Wars. Where do I start? For some people, Star Wars is almost a religion. There are some devoted fan boys and girls out there who stood in line for days when The Force Awakens and Rogue One came out... in costume. I remember when I was 19 when The Phantom Menace was released; I was working at Taco Bell at the time and we had just gotten in a shipment of the kid's meal toys tied into the new movie. Well you'd think we were giving out free tacos, that's how swamped we were with grown men and women buying kid's meals. Even when all we had left were Jar Jar Binks toys, they still flew off the shelves.
My brother Greg and I are doing the Siskel and Ebert thing. Below are dueling reviews of the three original Star Wars films. It should be noted ahead of time that while we appreciate the movies, neither of us are giant fans, but to those who are... May the force be with you.
1977 - STAR WARS EPISODE IV - A NEW HOPE
1980 - STAR WARS EPISODE V - THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
1983 - STAR WARS EPISODE VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI
The conclusion of Luke and Vader’s ill-gotten relationship as father & son and as hero & villian is the sole reason to watch and finish this installment. The last few scenes showing the struggle between Vader, Luke and Emperor Palpatine is at the very center of the trilogy and is the cause for everything else in Jedi to happen. Without saying, Return of the Jedi ups the special effects and the universe even more with the addition of planet Endor with its Ewok cast; if only it had done so for a specific reason instead of just filling in time. Was C3PO getting worshiped by a gang of teddy bears really worth all that time and effort? Speaking of which, was there any reason why they needed the first 36 minutes of the movie for Luke to rescue Han Solo? We already knew Jabba the Hutt as a character, and while seeing all his muppet friends was a lot of fun for the kids, did we really learn anything new about the overall story or the existing characters? The only interesting theory to come out of that scene was that Luke could possibly now be a Sith Lord. Before the Force Awakens re-did A New Hope almost shot for shot, it’s nice to remember that Return of the Jedi already ripped off Episode IV by simply destroying the Death Star again in almost the exact same way as they did the first time around. That last scene between the white Darth Vader and Luke does still do it for me though, so all right with the force….
GREG DOES THE WRAP-UP:
There’s a reason why Star Wars has become the phenomenal behemoth Disney bought for $4 Billion. While there were movie and television sequels with continuing story lines before the late 70’s, this was the first time a trilogy had such a large scale, budget and grand scope. A New Hope, adjusted for inflation is the 2nd highest grossing movie of all time, making 70 times its budget of $11 Million in 1977. Nobody had seen anything like it and the story and characters took on a life on their own. Lucas is now famous for having outlined a total of 9 movies while first writing the drafts for episodes IV, V & VI. After breaking box office history, episodes V & VI were an easy shoe-in for production. What followed over the next 2 decades was a ceaseless barrage of merchandising that kept the brand of Star Wars going year after year without another installment of film. Toys, dolls, books, animation, board games, costumes, video games and even Star Wars festivals let Lucas and his producers realize that this gold mine wasn’t going away. And in 1999, Lucas finally released the 2nd trilogy following the story of Darth Vader growing up. I think the formula that worked for the original trilogy was something Lucas fell into. It was a lethal combination of things people had never seen on the big screen before and the time in history it was released. We’re talking about a epic space drama with gigantic sets, countless actors wearing unseen-before creative alien costumes & makeup in a story with the most dramatic interpretation of good vs. evil released in theaters during the height of the Cold War and near the end of the space race. All of these facts and events in time was one thing leading into another and it became the single most successful franchise of all time.
Oh, Star Wars. Where do I start? For some people, Star Wars is almost a religion. There are some devoted fan boys and girls out there who stood in line for days when The Force Awakens and Rogue One came out... in costume. I remember when I was 19 when The Phantom Menace was released; I was working at Taco Bell at the time and we had just gotten in a shipment of the kid's meal toys tied into the new movie. Well you'd think we were giving out free tacos, that's how swamped we were with grown men and women buying kid's meals. Even when all we had left were Jar Jar Binks toys, they still flew off the shelves.
My brother Greg and I are doing the Siskel and Ebert thing. Below are dueling reviews of the three original Star Wars films. It should be noted ahead of time that while we appreciate the movies, neither of us are giant fans, but to those who are... May the force be with you.
1977 - STAR WARS EPISODE IV - A NEW HOPE
SCOTT'S REVIEW 3 out of 4 Stars
Princess Leia is kidnapped by Darth Vader and his stormtroopers; droids C3PO and R2D2 escape and get lost on the desert planet Tatooine; and young Luke Skywalker returns home to find his Aunt and Uncle murdered by an Imperial explosion. And we're off on an adventure as R2D2 leads Luke to the wise old Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi who talks about the Force and explains they have to rescue Princess Leia and stop Darth Vader from using a new weapon, the Death Star to destroy planets. Soon they are joined by pilots Han Solo and Chewbacca as they try to save the galaxy.
Overall its a fairly simple story, but the characters and mythology are very specific, creating a whole science fiction world that would keep getting expanded. Of the three lead performances (Mark Hamill as Luke, Carrie Fisher as Leia and Harrison Ford as Han Solo), it's Ford who leaves the lasting impression. He's smug, charming and has the screen presence that would make him into a blockbuster star. Hamill on the other hand is rather bland, though not bad, in the leading role, although it may have helped if Hamill had even half the charisma of Ford. Fisher got better as the series went on, when they gave Leia more to do than just being a damsel in distress. Also, only in this film, Fisher attempts a strange accent, that's vaguely British and it comes and goes in various scenes. Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan is a great mix of mentor and mystery. He always gives you a sense that he knows more than he's letting on and manipulating everyone. The chief villain is not just Darth Vader (powerfully voiced by James Earl Jones), but also the great Peter Cushing as Grand Moff Tarkin. As an introductory story, it's pretty basic, but it works. Watching it again, it's a lot better than I remember. What really is impressive though is that this entire world was created with elaborate sets, miniatures and costumes, all before the aide of computer graphics.
GREG'S REVIEW 3 out of 4 Stars
Princess Leia is kidnapped by Darth Vader and his stormtroopers; droids C3PO and R2D2 escape and get lost on the desert planet Tatooine; and young Luke Skywalker returns home to find his Aunt and Uncle murdered by an Imperial explosion. And we're off on an adventure as R2D2 leads Luke to the wise old Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi who talks about the Force and explains they have to rescue Princess Leia and stop Darth Vader from using a new weapon, the Death Star to destroy planets. Soon they are joined by pilots Han Solo and Chewbacca as they try to save the galaxy.
Overall its a fairly simple story, but the characters and mythology are very specific, creating a whole science fiction world that would keep getting expanded. Of the three lead performances (Mark Hamill as Luke, Carrie Fisher as Leia and Harrison Ford as Han Solo), it's Ford who leaves the lasting impression. He's smug, charming and has the screen presence that would make him into a blockbuster star. Hamill on the other hand is rather bland, though not bad, in the leading role, although it may have helped if Hamill had even half the charisma of Ford. Fisher got better as the series went on, when they gave Leia more to do than just being a damsel in distress. Also, only in this film, Fisher attempts a strange accent, that's vaguely British and it comes and goes in various scenes. Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan is a great mix of mentor and mystery. He always gives you a sense that he knows more than he's letting on and manipulating everyone. The chief villain is not just Darth Vader (powerfully voiced by James Earl Jones), but also the great Peter Cushing as Grand Moff Tarkin. As an introductory story, it's pretty basic, but it works. Watching it again, it's a lot better than I remember. What really is impressive though is that this entire world was created with elaborate sets, miniatures and costumes, all before the aide of computer graphics.
GREG'S REVIEW 3 out of 4 Stars
There’s
no arguing the scale and imagination the original Star Wars boasts, and
its reputation as a moneymaker is unprecedented. The sets, the
production design and the graphics for 1977 were unparalleled and there
was no expense too great to make George Lucas’ dream come true.
Technically speaking, Star Wars is a masterpiece; the writing and
acting, however is where for me it brings it to a level where we can see
we’re still talking about a film and not a transcendent state of
being. There’s a reason Mark Hamill turned to voice acting as the Joker
for the 2nd half of his Hollywood career. This trilogy made
a huge name of Hamill yet his acting skills couldn’t get him that far
and in Episode IV, sadly it really shows. Hamill’s annoying performance
seems like it’s battling C3PO for the most eye rolls a character can
get. All the special effects and incredible A-Wing Fighter scenes won’t
take away the fact that the leading role is in the hands of a complete
amateur, especially while acting directly opposite complete professionals
such as Harrison Ford & Alec Guinness. There’s always three
components of a screenplay that need to be taken into account when
judging the quality of the writing and that’s the dialogue, the
characters and the plot. A New Hope knows exactly where it’s going, who
its characters are and what they plan on doing to get there. Lucas
knew exactly who Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, etc. are.
Their personalities are almost archetypes so the audience immediately
knows who they like and what they might even say next. The plot is so
crystal clear you can cut it with a knife; setting up the Death Star weapon from the beginning so we know what the goal is…to destroy it.
The bottomless pitfall of the screenplay was the dialogue. Lucas knew
where he wanted the characters to go and what they should do, but
unfortunately, what each character should say to each other scene by
scene is not his strong suit. I know people who love Star Wars that
agree with these flaws in acting and writing, but shrug them off in love
of the overall epic that is Star Wars. But for me, these things take
me out of the movie. I simply can’t enjoy it as much when I have to
endure C3PO whining about R2D2 going the wrong way in the desert. Over
all, I understand why Star Wars is the golden idol to many fanboys out
there, but there are other movies that can do all of the above, why
should fanfare and crazy budgets get all the glorious reviews as well?
SCOTT'S REVIEW 3.5 out of 4 Stars
After they destroyed the Death Star, Luke has joined the rebellion and Han and Chewie are about to split. Then Luke gets lost in the frozen tundra of Hoth and Han steps back into the hero role. Soon the gang gets separated and Han and Leia set out to stop Vader, while Luke seeks out the Jedi master Yoda. Everything on Dagobah with Yoda is the best part of the movie for me. Probably because I am huge fan of the Muppets which Yoda essentially is, especially since he is voiced and puppeteered by Frank Oz doing his Grover voice. Once we get to Cloud City, we are introduced to Lando played by Billy Dee Williams as an opportunist, similar to Han. The movie has a great conclusion in which Han is frozen and kidnapped and Luke finds out that family costs an arm and a... No, just an arm. It's a great sequel that manages to build and improve on the world created in the first film.
GREG'S REVIEW 3.5 out of 4 Stars
After they destroyed the Death Star, Luke has joined the rebellion and Han and Chewie are about to split. Then Luke gets lost in the frozen tundra of Hoth and Han steps back into the hero role. Soon the gang gets separated and Han and Leia set out to stop Vader, while Luke seeks out the Jedi master Yoda. Everything on Dagobah with Yoda is the best part of the movie for me. Probably because I am huge fan of the Muppets which Yoda essentially is, especially since he is voiced and puppeteered by Frank Oz doing his Grover voice. Once we get to Cloud City, we are introduced to Lando played by Billy Dee Williams as an opportunist, similar to Han. The movie has a great conclusion in which Han is frozen and kidnapped and Luke finds out that family costs an arm and a... No, just an arm. It's a great sequel that manages to build and improve on the world created in the first film.
GREG'S REVIEW 3.5 out of 4 Stars
Unlike
it’s predecessor, Empire had the balls to go off its training wheels
in the writing department, leaving Lucas in the dust. Even though some will consider this installment to be George Lucas’ masterpiece, they
would be very disappointed to realize just how little he had to do with
the making of it. Writers Leigh Brackett (The Big Sleep & The Long
Goodbye) and Lawrence Kasdan (Silverado & The Big Chill) wrote the
screenplay and Irvin Kershner directed the darkest sequel leaving Lucas
the broad scope of the story and a mere executive producer credit. The dialogue takes a serious uptick as they concentrate on why something is
being said and where that is leading to instead of throwing it away to
fill in time. Mark Hamill’s dialogue is shrunk, giving more time for
Yoda and Han Solo who have more interesting things to say. Luke’s
character in this becomes more of an object of which the other
characters can play off of and enrich themselves. Luke remains the lead as much
as the Queen of England runs the UK. Even though the franchise didn’t
need it, the plot and character development get even thicker as Yoda,
Lando Calrissian, Boba Fett and the worlds of Cloud City and ice planet
Hoth add dramatic levels to the Star Wars Universe. In Yoda, Star Wars
finds its heart and soul as he demonstrates the Force in greater detail
than Obi Wan did in Episode IV and explains the flaws in humanity
itself. Episode V also adds romance to the tension of the characters by
having Leia fall in love with Han Solo (He knows). The Empire Strikes Back concludes with arguably the most memorable endings of all time when
it is revealed that our hero is the son of the villain. That coupled
with his best friend being betrayed & taken away in carbonite by a
glorified crime boss leads to The Empire Strikes Back going down as the
darkest installment in the series and one of the ballsiest sequels in
film history.
SCOTT'S REVIEW 3.5 out of 4 Stars
Return of the Jedi picks up right where Empire left off. Luke and company sneak into the wacky Muppet-infested palace of Jabba the Hutt who has decided to turn Leia into a love slave and Han into wall art. After Luke defeats a monster and escapes from the giant killer vagina in the desert, they head back to Dagobah to find Yoda. Unfortunately, it's Yoda's time to die and Luke will have to learn the ways of the Force by himself. Then it's off to the forest planet Endor to stop Vader and the evil emperor from completing the new Death Star (with independent contractors). Yes, on Endor live the Ewoks who everyone bitches about, but I think they're cute. Come on, it's little people in Muppetheaded bear costumes! Any hoo, after some great chase sequences in the forest, we're on the new Death Star and Luke has to finally face dear old Dad. Vader's final moments are tragic and poignant and really provide a satisfying conclusion to the original trilogy.
Jedi gets a lot of flack because of the Ewoks, but it's all the creative uses of puppetry and elaborate sets that I love so much. All in all, Jedi and the trilogy itself are far from perfect, but the series gave us something that hadn't been attempted to this level before and the universe is still expanding.
GREG'S REVIEW 2.5 out of 4 Stars
Return of the Jedi picks up right where Empire left off. Luke and company sneak into the wacky Muppet-infested palace of Jabba the Hutt who has decided to turn Leia into a love slave and Han into wall art. After Luke defeats a monster and escapes from the giant killer vagina in the desert, they head back to Dagobah to find Yoda. Unfortunately, it's Yoda's time to die and Luke will have to learn the ways of the Force by himself. Then it's off to the forest planet Endor to stop Vader and the evil emperor from completing the new Death Star (with independent contractors). Yes, on Endor live the Ewoks who everyone bitches about, but I think they're cute. Come on, it's little people in Muppetheaded bear costumes! Any hoo, after some great chase sequences in the forest, we're on the new Death Star and Luke has to finally face dear old Dad. Vader's final moments are tragic and poignant and really provide a satisfying conclusion to the original trilogy.
Jedi gets a lot of flack because of the Ewoks, but it's all the creative uses of puppetry and elaborate sets that I love so much. All in all, Jedi and the trilogy itself are far from perfect, but the series gave us something that hadn't been attempted to this level before and the universe is still expanding.
GREG'S REVIEW 2.5 out of 4 Stars
The conclusion of Luke and Vader’s ill-gotten relationship as father & son and as hero & villian is the sole reason to watch and finish this installment. The last few scenes showing the struggle between Vader, Luke and Emperor Palpatine is at the very center of the trilogy and is the cause for everything else in Jedi to happen. Without saying, Return of the Jedi ups the special effects and the universe even more with the addition of planet Endor with its Ewok cast; if only it had done so for a specific reason instead of just filling in time. Was C3PO getting worshiped by a gang of teddy bears really worth all that time and effort? Speaking of which, was there any reason why they needed the first 36 minutes of the movie for Luke to rescue Han Solo? We already knew Jabba the Hutt as a character, and while seeing all his muppet friends was a lot of fun for the kids, did we really learn anything new about the overall story or the existing characters? The only interesting theory to come out of that scene was that Luke could possibly now be a Sith Lord. Before the Force Awakens re-did A New Hope almost shot for shot, it’s nice to remember that Return of the Jedi already ripped off Episode IV by simply destroying the Death Star again in almost the exact same way as they did the first time around. That last scene between the white Darth Vader and Luke does still do it for me though, so all right with the force….
GREG DOES THE WRAP-UP:
There’s a reason why Star Wars has become the phenomenal behemoth Disney bought for $4 Billion. While there were movie and television sequels with continuing story lines before the late 70’s, this was the first time a trilogy had such a large scale, budget and grand scope. A New Hope, adjusted for inflation is the 2nd highest grossing movie of all time, making 70 times its budget of $11 Million in 1977. Nobody had seen anything like it and the story and characters took on a life on their own. Lucas is now famous for having outlined a total of 9 movies while first writing the drafts for episodes IV, V & VI. After breaking box office history, episodes V & VI were an easy shoe-in for production. What followed over the next 2 decades was a ceaseless barrage of merchandising that kept the brand of Star Wars going year after year without another installment of film. Toys, dolls, books, animation, board games, costumes, video games and even Star Wars festivals let Lucas and his producers realize that this gold mine wasn’t going away. And in 1999, Lucas finally released the 2nd trilogy following the story of Darth Vader growing up. I think the formula that worked for the original trilogy was something Lucas fell into. It was a lethal combination of things people had never seen on the big screen before and the time in history it was released. We’re talking about a epic space drama with gigantic sets, countless actors wearing unseen-before creative alien costumes & makeup in a story with the most dramatic interpretation of good vs. evil released in theaters during the height of the Cold War and near the end of the space race. All of these facts and events in time was one thing leading into another and it became the single most successful franchise of all time.
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